Most of us know what it’s like to hear other people’s opinions and questions about having children.
Today, there is an unspoken rule in society—you should get a good job, find a partner, get married, and have kids. Because of this, couples who choose not to have children often feel the need to explain their decision. Some people may not understand and ask personal questions that are not their business.
These questions can be uncomfortable and make someone feel awkward, especially when asked why they don’t want to be a parent.
Sadly, some see not having children as selfish. But when a couple that others see as “different” decides to have kids, the idea of selfishness is suddenly questioned.
Over 20 years ago, Patti White from California received news that made her both excited and worried—her daughter Lisa told her she was pregnant.
Lisa has Down syndrome, a genetic condition that can cause different levels of physical and mental challenges. However, many people forget that individuals with Down syndrome can still take care of themselves, work, and live independent lives.
It is less common for two people with Down syndrome to have a child because men with Down syndrome rarely become fathers.
When Patti White found out she was going to be a grandmother, she was shocked. But she fully supported her daughter Lisa’s decision to have the baby.
At 29, Lisa had her own apartment and worked full-time at a local Goodwill store. She had been living independently for 11 years.
“She got along with everyone. She could do everything except the cash register. She liked it there, and they liked her,” Patti told Voice in 2016.
Lisa was also in a relationship with a man who had Down syndrome. They dated but lived in separate homes. Patti knew her daughter was in a healthy adult relationship, and they had open conversations about birth control and safe sex.
“At the time, all the books said that men with Down syndrome were sterile. People told us not to worry because they couldn’t have children,” Patti said.
But life had other plans.
One day, Patti came back from lunch at work and checked her voicemail. She heard an excited message from Lisa:
“Hi, Mom! I just wanted you to know you’re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!”
Patti was in shock. “My mind went in all directions. How could this be? Her boyfriend has Down syndrome!”
Many people said Lisa should not have a baby. They thought it was a bad decision and said she could not be a good mother. But her family supported and protected her.
Lisa, who spoke well and had strong opinions, had a normal pregnancy in many ways. She went to classes, had a coach, and felt the usual pregnancy symptoms.
“It was hard to walk when I was pregnant. I worked five days a week. I felt sick in the morning and wanted to throw up,” Lisa told Voice.
Lisa’s pregnancy was considered high risk, so doctors were very careful. Her son, Nic, was born four weeks early and, like his parents, had Down syndrome.
Nic’s father was there for his birth, and the new parents tried to live together. But sadly, it didn’t work out. Even more heartbreaking, Nic’s father passed away when Nic was just five years old.
Now 24, Nic is a handsome young man who was raised by his mom and grandmother. They couldn’t be prouder of him.
Having a child is always a big decision, and for Lisa, it was even harder because many people judged her for it.
She even lost some friends because their parents were afraid she would make their daughters want babies too.
But in the end, those opinions didn’t matter—especially not to Nic. He has grown into a strong and successful person. He graduated from college and deeply respects the women who raised him.
“I have two moms. My mom Lisa is my greatest future in my life. She gave me life, she gave me love, and she gave me birth. She is always wonderful and beautiful,” he said, according to Fabiosa.
In 2016, Patti shared a touching update on Facebook, along with a photo of a proud mom and her happy son.
“This is my daughter Lisa, having fun with her son Nic. They both have Down syndrome. This year is special for us—Lisa will turn 50, and Nic will turn 20. As for me, I’m older than dirt! I’m so proud of us.
When Lisa became pregnant, our biggest hope was for her to have a strong bond with her son. There were many ups and downs, but after all these years, we can truly say they have beaten the odds. They share an incredible love and a close little family. Lisa is a single mom, and she has done an amazing job,” Patti wrote.
For decades, this mother and son have shown the world how valuable people with Down syndrome are. Their story also shares important lessons and can help others make their own choices.
They are truly inspiring and deserve our admiration. Please share if you agree!
