Some people think that it’s easy being a parent no matter what your child’s personality is. But those who are raising strong-willed children suggest otherwise. If you are one of the many parents looking for ways you can properly respond to this type of kids, this article will provide you with parenting tips for strong willed child.
They say that to see is to believe, but others claim that seeing is not enough rather you have to experience it yourself. Being a parent of a strong-willed child can be more challenging as they tend to do things how they want.
Parenting A Strong-Willed Child
Strong-willed children are often outspoken, sensitive, and have power struggles and even meltdowns. While these can be seen as negative traits, they also complement some of their strengths. These include them being full of spirit, dynamic, and natural leaders.
If you have a strong-willed child, you may have realized by now that raising them is full of ups and downs. The kind of temperament they show sometimes makes people think that your kid is a “bad kid”, but you know they are not. Their choice to do things and follow orders according to their terms is just a part of their strong personality.
Aside from the judgmental looks you get from other people when your strong-willed child shows his behavior, it can still feel frustrating even at home. The key to meeting them halfway is to always be patient and know the root cause of their behavior.
5 Parenting Tips For Strong Willed Child
It is not easy raising a strong-willed child, but with the right strategies, it will surely pay off once they grow older. You’ll be looking at responsible, driven, and self-motivated teenagers and young adults that can achieve anything they want to be. Here are some parenting tips for strong willed child:
1. Understand their reason and focus on solving the problem.
Instead of punishing your child when they do something you didn’t like, try to understand why they did what they did. Sometimes, we tend to assume that kids are just being kids when they’re being stubborn. For strong-willed children, the unpleasant behavior might be coming from a deeper issue.
Remember that these kids are experiential learners which means that if they want to know if the stove is hot, they have to see it for themselves. Even if you’re tempted to scold them for attempting to burn their hands, if you realize their reason, you can then try to explain to them lovingly why they shouldn’t have done that and what they can properly do the next time. Besides, punishment may cause long-term problems if done in unreasonable ways.
2. Be more empathetic and respectful of their choices.
When your strong-willed child is having meltdowns, it is best not to show them that it’s making you feel frustrated. Remember that kids don’t know how to control their emotions yet, thus they explicitly show what they feel at the moment. As an adult, you should be able to control your own.
Meltdown is a sign that your kid is feeling overwhelmed and may need your help on how they can handle what they’re feeling. Try to let them talk and listen to them explain what made them upset. Show them that you understand them and that you’re willing to help. You should also show respect to their decisions, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, so they can learn how to respect others, too.
3. Let them take charge of some things.
Since strong-willed children are born leaders, they often have the urge to take control of things. Since they are experiential learners, they need to experience as many things as they want. And the best way to achieve this is if you let them take control of the things they can do.
For instance, if they want to schedule their activities for the day, just let them, as long as these activities are worthwhile and can help improve their skills. Giving them control also helps them become more independent and responsible individuals. Moreover, you can expect fewer tantrums and defiance if they feel empowered for being in charge.
4. Listen proactively and don’t dismiss their opinion.
They may be kids but that does not mean that what they say does not make sense. As parents, it is important that you make them feel that you value their thoughts and actually do it. Since kids are naturally curious, they will always have a say on things and you should be there to actively listen to them. This is a significant factor in building a strong relationship with your child.
Additionally, giving them choices can also help improve their decision-making and critical thinking skills. Once they learned, they can have a better opinion of things and an improved judgment of any situation they may encounter.
5. Set a routine that they can follow independently.
Their sense of control is one of the traits that make up for their being strong-willed. Tantrums are sometimes also caused by unexpected activities. That is why having a routine that works for your child can help improve their tolerance and patience as well as learn to be organized. If they are able to expect what activities will be today or the next days, it may help lessen their anxiety especially if they do not like the upcoming event.
A good suggestion to put this into practice is by making them their own calendar. You can paste pictures of the upcoming activities/events so that they know what to expect and when to expect it. In addition, this can help them create a schedule that works best for them and act autonomously on it.
Final Thoughts
Raising a strong-willed child is hard work. But with the right parenting strategies, you can help them become a functional member of society. Remember to set healthy boundaries and respect each other’s needs so your communication is two-way and does not lead to frustration from both ends.
Are you a parent or do you have a sibling who has a strong personality? How do you discipline a strong willed defiant child? Share this article with someone who might need these tips.
