Most of us know what it’s like to hear other people’s opinions and questions about having children.
Today, there is an unspoken rule in society—you should get a good job, find a partner, get married, and have kids. Because of this, couples who choose not to have children often feel the need to explain their decision. Some people may not understand and ask personal questions that are not their business.
These questions can be uncomfortable and make someone feel awkward, especially when asked why they don’t want to be a parent.
Sadly, some see not having children as selfish. But when a couple that others see as “different” decides to have kids, the idea of selfishness is suddenly questioned.
Over 20 years ago, Patti White from California received news that made her both excited and worried—her daughter Lisa told her she was pregnant.
Lisa has Down syndrome, a genetic condition that can cause different levels of physical and mental challenges. However, many people forget that individuals with Down syndrome can still take care of themselves, work, and live independent lives.
It is less common for two people with Down syndrome to have a child because men with Down syndrome rarely become fathers.
When Patti White found out she was going to be a grandmother, she was shocked. But she fully supported her daughter Lisa’s decision to have the baby.
At 29, Lisa had her own apartment and worked full-time at a local Goodwill store. She had been living independently for 11 years.
“She got along with everyone. She could do everything except the cash register. She liked it there, and they liked her,” Patti told Voice in 2016.
Lisa was also in a relationship with a man who had Down syndrome. They dated but lived in separate homes. Patti knew her daughter was in a healthy adult relationship, and they had open conversations about birth control and safe sex.
“At the time, all the books said that men with Down syndrome were sterile. People told us not to worry because they couldn’t have children,” Patti said.
But life had other plans.
One day, Patti came back from lunch at work and checked her voicemail. She heard an excited message from Lisa:
“Hi, Mom! I just wanted you to know you’re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!”
Patti was in shock. “My mind went in all directions. How could this be? Her boyfriend has Down syndrome!”