Spousal abuse chooses no time and place. If you think someone you know is experiencing a similar situation, this post will enumerate some signs a friend is dealing with domestic abuse and might need your help.
When a person is in an abusive relationship, signs of abuse won’t be apparent. Most of the time, it takes small clues piling up until you figure out the situation. An abused person is often controlled by the abuser on how they should think and feel aside from being hurt physically. The victim will keep feeling scared and confused to the point that they might be too afraid to ask for help.
If you notice that a friend starts to show odd and negative changes in their life without explanation, it may be a sign that they’re suffering from abuse. Here are some signs that you can look out for so you can do something to help.
An abused person is often carrying the trauma and playing negative scenarios in their head. They would look like they’re not paying attention since their mind is in a different space. You can’t talk to them as deeply as you used to. If you start asking questions like if there’s something wrong, they would often deny it and say they’re okay.
Another example is when you’re telling them funny stories and you would notice that the way they smile seems forced. Even if they laugh, it would be too short and not the same as it used to be.
If your friend who you’re used to seeing taking time to fix their hair and dress accordingly suddenly changes, that may be a sign of being abused. It would look as if they don’t care about how they look anymore – even their hair doesn’t even look combed enough.
According to health journalist Sian Ferguson, mental illness can impact a person’s hygiene. People who are depressed find it hard to do even basic hygiene such as showering, washing hands, brushing teeth, doing laundry, or brushing their hair. They don’t have enough energy and motivation to do simple tasks that they’ve been doing every day.
When you notice that your friend is starting to have unexplained financial issues, it may be a sign that their abuser is trying to control their personal finances. This is an easy way for an abuser to manipulate the victim and keep them from escaping the abusive situation.
As a result, the abused person will feel powerless and lose their self-esteem. Even if they have a good-paying job and successful career, they won’t be able to show it if someone else is taking control of them. The victim would feel inadequate and may feel like they’re trapped in the relationship.
It’s normal for people to get wounds or bruises at times. But if you notice that someone you care about starts to show more wounds more often than it should, it could be a sign of physical abuse. When this happens, you can confront your friend and convince them to get help from authorities to make the abuser pay for what they did.
Abusers often find another cause for their behavior. They would try to convince people that they only did those things because of stress. Sometimes, they shift blame to the victim, a bad day, alcohol, drugs, and other things.
Whenever you ask your friend about their day, sometimes you’ll suddenly realize that they’re lying especially when their stories don’t really add up. There are also times when you notice that they would even make excuses not to join you when you invite them over for lunch or to go out.
What makes the situation more complicated is when your friend’s abuser always sticks with them wherever they go. Some abusers would show off as pleasant and charming people so you won’t be doubtful about them. This helps them manipulate other people around them and see them as good people, thus making it difficult for the abused to ask for help.
If your friends start wearing long sleeves and pants even during the hot weather, this could mean that they’re hiding wounds from the physical abuse they’re getting. Other objects that can hide bruises are scarves, caps, sunglasses, and face masks. They don’t want people to speculate a wound so they prefer hiding them.
When you’re noticing they’re being abused but your friend is not trying to ask for help, then they probably already feel helpless. Sometimes, battered women will even think that they deserve the abuse and that they can’t get out of the toxic relationship. That is why they don’t even bother going to the police or their family to let them know what’s going on.
When a person has cried all night, you will notice it in their eyes if they’re red, swollen, or look like they didn’t get any sleep at all. An abused person who feels hopeless would usually spend their nights crying to sleep so they always fail to get some rest. If they do, it would be only a couple of hours of eye-shut so they would wake up feeling tired for the whole day – and the cycle goes on.
If someone close to you is experiencing abuse, look out for the signs mentioned above so you can do something to help. You can also report the violence to authorities and get help from professionals to guide you on how to create a safe escape plan. This way, your friend won’t risk any danger if they think about leaving the relationship impulsively.
If you or anyone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, don’t hesitate to call the hotline in your area and ask for help. Share this article and help other people know the signs of an abusive relationship.
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